Selfish
by RoyalJester
Summary: But then, someone so much like me, yet different entered my life. Someone who remained by my side. KikInu. Kiks thoughtsPOV ::editedcomplete::


**Selfish**

An Inuyasha fanfiction written by- **RoyalJester**

**Disclaimer- I do NOT own Inuyasha**

**A/N-** I finally edited, yayz! Umm...enjoy?

The coldness of the air cuts through me as I breathe in the unblemished atmosphere intensely. I hang my head - sauntering through the gloomy forest, leading to my village. Tears astonish me as the taste of my own salt rolls down my cheeks. The events that took place, not long ago, were apparent to have dented me greatly.

I was called from a village, not far from mine, to heal a vas illness that had swept over them. But instead, I had witnessed a murder of a human, being infatuated with a demon, right before my eyes.

I was not able to stop them; this village contains different rules and honors from mine. They wouldn't see it fit if a priestess told them to stop. Questioning their ruling. But alas, I had. For it, I was ridiculed and no longer held high rankings in that village. No matter what I said, it had no effect as the slaying of the woman proceeded.

The look she gave me as I tried to save her life will carry with me all my existence. Her young, immature face held experience in her dark, brown eyes. She had remained silent as the elders of the village judged her, sentenced her. She held courage, as she spoke not a word. Yet - she let it be known she was in love with this demon.

She had done something I could not.

_Admit her love._

I am not as strong as that girl; I am not as strong as I thought I was. Me - being a priestess, saving lives, giving knowledge to those around me, was a coward. I should not be afraid of my demise, yet, I fear it greatly. How long could I live in this resentment? Not expressing my love for this hanyou that I possess affections for greatly.

I pull my colorless cloak over me more securely, noticing the sharp winds that prickled my skin as I wipe my tears away. Why was I crying? Because I fear not being able to ever reveal my love? Because I care what others think of me? Possibly.

Showing my love for this hanyou, could mean the loss of my rankings. I have worked hard for my status; I had suffered to gain this. I lost my family because they did not fancy for a priestess as a daughter, I was disowned from everyone I knew. Why? Because I would not be able to speak with them for years to come. Those many years I would be training and I had to remain pure - mind, heart, and soul. They chose to move on without me...

But then, when I was falling into a whirlpool of my own self-pity – my own lifeless shell, someone so much like me, yet different entered my life. Someone who remained by my side.

We are both loners, strong, yet not accepted. We have both suffered greatly in life, and we both reveal it through our eyes. Yet, our bodies and faces remain emotionless and detached. I first saw his golden-orbed eyes, as I was entranced. The beauty in them, yet, the pain and loss. I held the same look in mine as we simply met each others gazes, lost in one another's pools. I couldn't slay someone just like me, nor could he. I simply lowered my bow as he lowered his hands.

My tears begin once again as his face pierces my mind and clouds my thoughts. Inuyasha. I love him deeply, but I fear to speak those words to him. A human falling in love with a demon. A priestess, nonetheless, falling in love with a hanyou.

I would risk anything to tell him I love him, be with him. But, I am selfish if you must say. Hai, I am. But. If he uses the Shikon no Tama to become human...the jewel will vanish from the earth and I would be able to live a normal life. With the one I love. The one I would give my life for in an instant. And he would for me.

Dare I speak to him about it? _Dare_ I try to solve both our problems? I wouldn't wish to change him...but, wouldn't anyone in this kind of situation? I wish it could be handled any other way...but it simply cannot. Not without us both living.

I suddenly stagger in the slightest as I let out a yelp, but I was silenced with a fast movement from the forest. Hastily, I feel warm arms surround me pulling me up right, holding me close. His lips tickle the back of my neck as he speaks in a slow and humble whisper, his deep voice calming me.

"Kikyou, are you alright?" He whispers. I close my eyes as I turn around to face him and dig my head in his tunic. His hand runs through my hair as he encircles his arms around me again.

"I am now..._Inuyasha_." I whisper.

I savor these moments greatly. Being held in his arms. This love we share was natural, this was real. But how can something so right, be so wrong? I sigh deeply breathing in his scent as I calm instantly. We remain in this position, not speaking a word, yet knowing what the other is thinking, inhaling one another's scent. Breathing in the past, the fears, and the future a head of us. Everything would work out. It would have to.

_But not the way they would've liked._

**A/N-** The end!


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